does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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