my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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