I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize