Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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