Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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