is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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