are you still at the devil's house?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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