Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
accomplished twins. life is a go
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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