my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
