And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
