It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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