she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Panties = found
Randomize
