Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
