Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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