is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I understand Curling. That high.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
