Grow some girl-balls and come out already
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize