She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
