They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize