Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
