hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
