I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize