I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
