we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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