can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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