I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
