i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
