fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
