Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
