it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
