today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
