everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
