I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
