Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
