Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
