you mean i was at the winter classic?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You're like the curious george of whores
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
