I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
