Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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