drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
