Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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