The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
