I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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