How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
