i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
