drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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