she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
