It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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