Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
