BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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