I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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