Dual....:-)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize