still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
