ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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