when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
