im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
