On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
