What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
