be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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