Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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