dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
